One of the more fabulous stories I heard from someone toasting me, was that he graduated from Annapolis Naval Academy. Turned out he couldn’t swim and that was how his lie was uncovered. If the dots do not add up, they don’t.

I find that it’s easier to be yourself in a relationship than to pretend. Sometimes, a good way to take the measure of a man or woman is to see how they react when things go wrong. Do they give you leeway to make mistakes or do they berate you and fly off the handle? Do they adapt to your quirks or do they give up on you and move on?

One of my oldest friends was always late for everything. Like really late. I used to be irritated. I thought if he respected my feelings, he wouldn’t keep doing what I disliked. But, he’s such a dear friend, that my heart knew I was stuck with him forever.

I think when you decide to make someone your friend, it changes how you deal with their weaknesses. In this instance, after a while, I stopped being irked by my friend’s lateness. Instead, I began to pragmatically plan around it. I wouldn’t leave home until he confirmed he had arrived at our meeting spot. It even became a private source of amusement between us. After many years, he is now surprisingly on time.

I think the move from irritation to amusement & problem solving happens when there’s genuine love and commitment. That’s why it’s important to be with someone you love. It is difficult to accommodate someone you despise or can barely tolerate. The fuel of duty and obligation needs to be replenished by love.