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Friend Zone is Not a Dirty Phrase

by Subomi Plumptre

In my experience, the “getting to know you” phase ends very quickly in Nigeria, when there’s no sex on the table. Conversation either stops completely or in some rare cases, morphs into a refreshing friendship or business relationship. Amazing what happens when sex isn’t the only thing doing you.

I don’t know if the universe is trying to tell me something, but I met almost all my male business partners and friends on social or dating networks. Friend zone was never a dirty phrase. Our business deals prove otherwise. People are so much more than their sexual value.

I think what I learned was that finding sex is easy. Finding unfettered conversation and honest friendship is harder.

On a divergent note, going on a date with a non-Nigerian requires emotional bandwidth. You can’t assume they will “get” your idioms and the cultural nuances you take for granted. Many times, English is not even their first language. But I’ve discovered that values are the same, no matter the culture. Even when there’s an obvious language barrier; kindness, consideration and generosity remain the same.

Finding sex is easy. Finding unfettered conversation and honest friendship is harder. Click To Tweet

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