When I was 19, I found myself running from God. Hearing him call, I knew there was no chance I would become a minister or missionary, so I said “No”.
I’m 44 now, and right back to where I left him. This only goes to show that it’s a bad idea to ignore God’s summons. For what can you really accomplish that’s of significance without him?
Perhaps my hesitation was due to stubbornness or a dislike for inconvenient things like fasting and excessive prayer. I also liked being independent and in control of my own destiny. But all of that led to premium tears, as my life plans are now in the mud.
Lately, I’ve begun to listen and thankfully, he is patient. It’s just really hard to do all the things I should have done years ago. I don’t have the energy I used to.
Trusting God is a Patient Game
Following God in whatever capacity requires a fundamental trust that comes from daily relationships and obedience. It’s not a head thing but a heart thing. And it’s more emotional than intellectual. You must set aside assumptions and everything you think you know about the Father. The neat little boxes you have placed him in. Because one day he will surprise you by doing something that makes little sense.
I’m currently circling back to where I ought to be. No definite plans and living according to what God reveals daily. It’s very uncomfortable and unsettling. I do not like it at all. Yet, I’m not to complain. Worry also does no good. I recall the scripture that says, “You can’t by worrying, add a day to your life. If you can’t do that, then why bother about the rest?“
To the best of my ability, I am trying to prioritize God. And anyway, he has a way of using failure to get my attention, if I don’t listen. Who knows? Perhaps like in a video game, to advance to the next level, I must master the present one. In doing so, I will unlock the tokens needed for the future.
Fingers crossed!
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