I’ve often wondered how people do evil with a straight face. Then, they sleep well at night afterwards. Surely, that is not how humans are wired. Some seem to even have dual personalities. To the world they are saints, but they perpetrate gross perfidy behind closed doors.

I have a theory about why that happens.

Every time you make a bad decision, it changes you. If you make enough terrible decisions, you get to the point where your heart changes and your moral bandwidth expands. Rationalisations and justifications become easier. You start to break the rules, not just for expediency, but because you can get away with it. At the root of life-changing evil, is the abuse of power. But when the day grows silent and the night dawns, those who do evil know something is very wrong.

When you get to that point, you need to get on your knees and admit that you’re wrong, so you can find your way back. You need to let your “dirty little secret” out, so it loses its grip on your soul. You need to expose your faults to a trusted confidante and your God. Admission of guilt (and humility) is the first step to penance. Then, you must accept forgiveness and also forgive yourself.

People find their way back all the time. They start over. Are you willing to take the first step?