I woke up with blinding insight.
Negativity, sadness and defeatism are self fulfilling prophecies. You are despondent because things are not going well in your life; but things are not going well in life, BECAUSE you are despondent and never expect them to go well.
Faith is productive energy. Fear is similar. Each produces after its own kind. As a man consistently thinks, so he ends up becoming. If you believe things will be bad, if you constantly dwell on the things that are wrong, if you expect things to go awry, that is what will happen.
You’ve got to take control of your thoughts. You have to. Your future may depend on it.