Project Management Marriage


I was minding my own business taking Amazon Music for a spin, when the song What If, by Kane Brown came up. I was listening to the Rascal Flatts station, at the time. It’s been on replay since.

The song is about a lady who hesitates to start a relationship because she’s too cautious. She recounts all the reasons why she shouldn’t commit. Thankfully, she finds a man who is willing to debunk her “What Ifs”.

For a few days, I’ve been asking myself some honest questions, one of which is, “Shosho, are you scared of commitment?” I’ve been loved and I’ve loved back, but I haven’t “settled down” yet. I think the honest reason is, I haven’t met someone who seriously makes me consider the prospect of marriage (besides two close shaves I am most grateful to have been delivered from).

To be fair, I have been very occupied with “busyness”, which I’ve vowed to stop, so I can smell the roses of life. But in my defence, I notice everything, even when I’m busy. I process information very quickly. I can tell within minutes, if I’m sexually attracted to a guy or not. I can also tell whether we’ll be friends. I think many times, our visions of sex, relationship or friendship may align, but our vision of marriage does not. And marriage is a very big deal for me.

My “problem” is when I think of marriage, I don’t think of children or parties or building homes. None of the practical aspects of marriage appeals to me. I don’t want to “work at” or “work in” a marriage. Some people may relish having two jobs. I don’t.

If I could take a snapshot of my ideal marriage in my head, it would be an image of two people on a Safari running for their dear lives, to avoid being eaten by a lion. My husband and I would spend more time travelling than sitting still – together and on our own. We would have separate rooms but share the same bed. I wouldn’t have much furniture in mine and would prefer a monochrome palette, so I can rest my mind. We wouldn’t do much entertaining of family & friends and we wouldn’t attend church every Sunday. We would sleep in and be lazy.

Maybe I just haven’t met anyone who is as crazy, restless, intense but yet reclusive like I am. And, the picture a lot of people paint about marriage seems more like project management than friendship.

The picture often painted about marriage seems more like project management than friendship. Click To Tweet

I've been chewing on this article for a while. I recently read a post on Facebook about
An individual who responds to every statement by an intelligent woman with, "Go and marry"
It has come to my attention that some individuals are justifying marital rape using 1
This is a treatise on my personal journey to understanding Christian scriptures on divorce. It

Unfortunately, I cannot moderate comments on my blog at this time but I invite you to connect with me on Twitter or Facebook