When I was growing up, I was taught that if you went to a store to buy something and you were given excess change, you returned it. In the same vein, if you overpaid, an honest cashier would return the extra to you. Honesty wasn’t something you rationalised. It was hard coded into your DNA from childhood.

Today, as I thought about my friends, I realised a thread runs through all of them – values. I feel safe with them; secure. My secrets are confidential. I’m not worried about whether they’ll cheat, lie or steal. It’s an incredible feeling.

To be clear, my friends aren’t saints. They display bad behaviour. But, there is a vast difference between an instance and a way of life.

A good number of my friends come from broken homes and modest circumstances, so they are who they are, despite their backgrounds. Some subscribe to a different faith. So I can’t ascribe their values to religion per se. However, a few things they have in common, are cultural exposure and a love for knowledge. They are aware of many life options but have chosen the path of values as the best one. They are also grown. None of them uses moods and silence as tools of control. They talk through issues and resolve conflicts. They are emotionally mature adults.

Because I have experienced good friendship, I cannot accept a bad relationship. Sometimes I wonder how people cope with partners who clearly lack basic human courtesy. It’s not something the partners can easily hide unless they are sociopaths (in which case, no one could’ve seen it coming). King Solomon wisely said, “Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure, and whether it is right.”

Everyone deserves good friends. I wish there was a formula for identifying them. I can only advise that you keep shining your light and being there for people. One day, you will attract others of similar values. When you do, don’t hesitate to make a friend.

For more of my random thoughts about life, you should get my new book, UNSCRIPTED.