Friend Zone is Not a Dirty Phrase

In my experience, the “getting to know you” phase ends very quickly in Nigeria, when there’s no sex on the table. Conversation either stops completely or in some rare cases, morphs into a refreshing friendship or business relationship. Amazing what happens when sex isn’t the only thing doing you. I don’t know if the universe[…]

Konji and Other Pertinent Matters

In this video, I speak about my personal struggles with desire, as a Christian.

You Want Me To Do What?!

Very few people are innately creative or innovative. I know. I work in the creative industry. For so many people, everything they know about sex was learnt from books, movies and other partners. They ought to remember that, when they start making sexual demands that are non-consultative. They have a body of knowledge and the other[…]

Do The Do

One day, I was about to do the do with a dude. (Stay with me. I’m going somewhere.) He was very eligible and I half-wondered why he was interested in me. He was certifiably team beard gang and for some reason he was crazy about me. I wasn’t as crazy about him. but I was[…]

Mind Sex

I believe the most critical sex organ is the brain and not the penis or vagina. Sex begins with and is fueled by imagination. Because Christian doctrine tells us that pre-marital sex is to be avoided, many Christians struggle with mind sex – mostly masturbation and its fuel – porn. It’s an escape; a way[…]

Creative People & Sex

A few years ago, I attended a concert where my friend was performing. The organisers had booked a room for him at the venue – Eko Hotels. After the concert, we had a drink at the bar and he confessed to struggling after each performance. Even though he was usually exhausted, he had this intense desire[…]

Sex and Culture

I’ve had many discussions about relationships and sex with Nigerians. Here are some of the cultural assumptions I’ve discovered: You can’t have a relationship without sex. If the person is not sleeping with you, he/she is sleeping with someone else while they’re with you. All men cheat. All women are materialistic. Sex is a commodity[…]

(Don’t) Shake That Booty!

I watch music videos at the salon. Until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t owned a TV in years. Anytime I watch those videos, I realise just how much I have NOT missed. If you watch music visual interpretations regularly, you will be excused for believing sex is the most important thing in the world.[…]

Sex & Fame

There are a few things on my mind today. Sex and fame are opportunistic. They come when you least expect them. It stands to reason then, that you shouldn’t wait to decide what to do at the point when either is offered to you. You should develop parameters for your decision-making a long time beforehand.[…]

Random Thoughts on Celibacy

Celibacy is a thorny subject to process, especially for a creative person. It becomes more complicated if you subscribe to the Christian faith. Then, it becomes a subject that must be addressed definitively, otherwise moral conflicts will mess you up. Celibacy has consequences. It’s not rosy, pretty, easy or triumphant, as some try to paint[…]