Self-esteem and confidence cannot be overvalued. As you journey through life, people will try to make you do things by preying on your intellect or by knocking your confidence. They will manipulate you with social pressure so you appear stupid and uncool. In some cases, they will try to pull you into their own warped incepto-drama or make you play by their script. Don’t give in. They are bullies.
Some time ago, I went to say hello to a new foreign friend who lived abroad but was visiting Nigeria for the first time. He was staying in a hotel. He asked that I come up to his room and I demurred, saying I loved the music in the lobby bar and would like to meet there instead. Now, I’m not the overly careful type. If a guy invites me to his room, I won’t immediately assume he’s planning something sinister. I have an open mind and heart. I believe in the universal right of a person to ask for sex and my fundamental right to say no. But this guy kept insisting I come up. I tried to find out if he was feeling poorly or was too tired to put on jeans and a t shirt to come to the bar. He assured me he was fit. At that point, my brain kicked in.
I thought to myself, “Dude, I walked in with my own 2 legs. I drove the length of 3rd Mainland Bridge to be here. I am your guest. If you are more concerned about insisting on the venue of the meeting than the actual meeting itself, then the same legs that brought me also know the way home.”
He called me when I was already halfway home. I can’t shout.