What is friendship, really? Is it companionship? Is it having someone who’s got your back or an ally in troubled times? Is it conversations or a travelling companion?

I’m thinking about the type of friendship I miss and that I need in my life right now.

I need a friend who shares my values. We may fight but at the core, we believe the same things and read from the same ideological playbook.

I need a friend who encourages me to be a better person. Someone who calls me to order when I stray. Yes, it’s great to have someone to laugh with but I also want someone who’s not afraid to have the serious conversations of life too.

I need someone I can talk to about God and who is not ashamed to share my dependence on him. Someone who reminds me there are clear lines of right and wrong and that while I may fall short, I should own up to my mistakes.

I crave someone who recognises that though we may live in a near lawless society, there are higher ideals to aspire to. I want someone who inspires me to give, to love and to be a much better version of myself. Someone who’s my intellectual equal and challenges my assumptions.

Yes, that’s the kind of friendship I need.

I’ve been told I should be realistic about my expectations of friendship and relationships. But you cannot understand the deep sorrow of wondering if you are the only crazy person in your world. Being realistic doesn’t take that away. It just means that sometimes you stop being you so you can be a bit happier.