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I Gotta Get This Off My Chest

by Subomi Plumptre

There’s something I must get off my chest. I will probably offend quite a few people by doing so but it’s really got to stop. What exactly I’m I talking about? It’s the rise and rise of non-creative, forwarded text messages!

I know that guys, you probably mean well and would like to be sweet and brighten up my day, but pllllllllllllssssss NOT AT 5 AM IN THE FRIGGIN’ MORNING! And definitely not last thing at night.

I particularly hate those text messages that are of a religious variety. You don’t have to wax poetic. Simply speak your heart (in good English please). And quit dogging me throughout the day. I once had a particularly persistent fellow say hello to me in the morning, send “uplifting” messages throughout the day, wish me safe journey as I boarded the plane to Abuja and by the time I landed and switched on my phone, his was the first message I received. Talk about “phone stalking”!

And callers, please stop flashing me…..I can see your missed call the first time. If I don’t call back it’s because I DON’T WANT TO. Take the hint.

Phew… !

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