If you’re cheap like I am, you probably go to the movies on half-price (or free popcorn) movie night. A side benefit to going on this special day of the week is that you meet and observe so many interesting personalities. Because Nigerians generally love freebies, half-price movie night is always packed.

These are some of the people i’ve observed:

First, there’s the high school grad who couldn’t bother to get dressed up for the movies. Chances are he stiill has a comb stuck in his hair (I kid you not), is wearing sagging trousers (and sporting boxers of an uncertain color) or skintight pencil trousers that he wrestled to get into. This outfit is completed by the requisite unlaced fluorescent coloured high top sneakers, sweater top and big nerdy goggles. You’ll typically find high schoolers huddled in groups of 3 or 4.

Then there’s the bored college chick who’s overdressed or underdressed depending on how you look at it and is probably thinking in her head: Notice me damn it! I didn’t hang out half my boobs and apply liberal coats of makeup just for fun! If she’s interested in the guy she’s with, you’ll probably hear her high pitched fake laughter from across the room. If she’s not, she can often be sported wearing a nonchalant look and playing the brick game on her Nokia phone, thinking: Whatever!

Then there’s the music star who always comes with a posse and sports dark glasses. In his head, he’s thinking: I’m a star. Bow down and worship me. I’m popular. Make way before me. I have cash. I can be as loud and obnoxious as I want.

I especially like the suited corporeaucrat with the casually loosened tie and expensive shoes who strides in with an air of: I am important. The rest of you are little kids. I’m only here to destress from several technical deals that you wouldn’t understand even if I mentioned them slowly. I’m not cheap. I can afford to come on any other night besides half-price night, but my obviously beautiful trophy girlfriend insisted we come today.I shall now stalk around with an obvious I-couldn’t-care-less attitude. Dick!

Let’s not forget the very pregnant young married woman who clutches on to her well dressed former jock husband who’s still shellshocked over the fact that he’s married and hence ‘settled down’. Only his pot belly belies the fact that his glory fine-boy days are over.

These are just some of the folks i met yesterday at the movies. Now who says watching people ain’t interesting?