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Acts of Service

by Subomi Plumptre

I’ve heard women multitask better than men. I’ve not read the research, so I will assume there’s some truth to it. I think I multitask better than many women, because of my project management background and executive experience. My mind is programmed to get shit done.

One of my love languages is Acts of Service, yet I rarely ask for help. I think this is common with people like me. We rarely find people who carry our concerns on their heads, the way we do for them. And, when a task is not efficiently done, it defeats the purpose of outsourcing it in the first place. It becomes one more thing for us to worry about and manage, which adds to our stress instead of taking away from it.

I’ve never understood why people say they would do something and not do it. I think what hurts more is the radio silence. It’s one thing to not do something. It’s even worse to not communicate why it couldn’t be done. It goes against common courtesy. It makes me feel like I have not been prioritised. It assumes I will “understand” and conveys I am being taken for granted. Sometimes, it worries me that the person thinks I will judge them and so, they avoid me. This means they don’t know my character.

I have this incredible belief in human capacity. I deal with people first, on the assumption that they have integrity, are reliable and are capable. To avoid being a nag and causing myself grief, once I sense that I’m with someone who requires micro-management, I simply respect myself and leave them alone. I no longer require acts of service from them. I focus on their other great qualities.

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