I had a boyfriend who taught me a valuable lesson. We were supposed to view our first lunar eclipse together. We agreed he would pick me up at 2am, when the eclipse was scheduled to happen. We would go to our special place to view it. Unfortunately, we missed it. We fought the previous day[…]
Every man & woman should read this. I have been in a few relationships and observed many more. I also manage a therapy platform inspired by a relationship mentoring column. My experience with therapy means I am aware of the dark underbelly of Nigerian relationships. I am slightly disillusioned as I now understand why some Nigerians premise relationship[…]
1. Here’s how you’ll know you are in a relationship with someone who is not in a relationship with you. (You may also use this formula for friendships): Significant events happen in their lives – a new job, a major purchase like a car or house, their parents falling ill etc. and you never know before or[…]
[Read Part 1 here] I think the insatiable need for a relationship (as well as serial dating) may be connected to the fear of being alone and the need for validation, attention & love that should come from friends and a loving family. If you have never known a love without expectations, you would assume[…]
I would like to write a dating primer for men. The truth is, unless you have game, have joined “bad gang” or have a mentor or sister, you probably had no one to teach you how to chat up women. (I think women need a primer too, so I have included a few lessons for them[…]
Once upon a time, patriarchy ruled the land. Women were egregiously abused but asked to cover the shame of the men for the sake of the family. Now, in the space of one generation, women have become “wise”. Money has become their succour. Durex tells us they are cheating and abusing too. Many were quick[…]
In Nigeria, it is assumed both men and women know the rules of the “dating game”. So when a woman asks for transport fare after sex, the guy acquiesces. Whether this is a nice way of packaging a financial transaction is open to debate. When a man invites you over very soon after meeting you,[…]
I do not believe in sex before marriage. I have had discussions about relationships and life with many Nigerians. If I were to believe the cultural assumptions, then the following are true: – You cannot have a relationship without sex. If the person is not sleeping with you, he/she is sleeping with someone else while[…]
A few years ago, I was in a relationship with someone. My clearest memory of it; the recollection that is etched in brain matter was our first kiss. I remember because I had a funny thought while being kissed. It was like I stepped out of my body to watch the proceedings and the thought[…]
Cash is a weak relationship currency. A woman who dates you for money browsed through you like she was shopping. You were the most attractive pick. A woman who dates you for money will be looking to upgrade you someday. You are a quantifiable commodity. There will be a newer richer version. A woman who dates you[…]