Manipulative Friendships

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George B. Shaw said, “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

One thing many may not understand is that argumentative people thrive during conflicts. They enjoy the attention that strife brings; can scarcely handle being alone or being anywhere but the centre of attention. To be alone is to be left to their private thoughts, insecurities and demons. Therefore, they must be constantly affirmed by activity and pointless arguments.

Arguing with someone who loves strife empowers them and steals your peace. They emerge as winners, so don’t give them the satisfaction.

The best way to deal with a passive-aggressive person is to deny them the attention they manipulatively crave. Ignore them and focus on other things. Never try to win the devotion of an emotionally unavailable or stingy person. Withholding affection is a power play for them. They must ensure you love more. That’s how it works.

Remind yourself that you deserve affection and do not have to accept drama. Tell such people the truth and call out their bad behaviour. People rarely tell them the truth. They will try to cast you as the bad guy to justify their actions. They never admit they’re wrong. You must always be the first to apologise or else they will wear you down with their bad moods. See through the charade and walk away. Leave them to be right all by themselves since they rarely admit wrongdoing. Without you, there is no argument; no justification; no manipulation and no prize.

To be sure, they will execute a PR/smear campaign against you. How else will they explain to the world why you left them? But the truth will eventually prevail. It will come out because they will behave badly with others, after you. They can’t stop seeking attention. But after a while, things won’t add up and others will finally see through them.

The sad thing is, besides their insecurities, low self esteem & manipulation, they’re wonderful, sacrificial and hard working people. That’s why it’s so hard to reconcile their bad behaviour. But resist trying to be a saviour. You can’t save them. They must work through their daddy/mommy issues first and lay down their pride. Until they’re willing to admit they have a problem and seek help, you will subject yourself to emotional abuse being with them.

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