Chat Connections

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When I meet someone online, I either connect with them immediately or after some time. I almost always begin with chat. It helps me to gauge whether they can carry on a conversation and express themselves with words.

In the first week, I make an effort to feel people out. I try to find out who they are and what they like to talk about. After a week, if we’re still at “hi” and “hello”, there’s no connection. People who enjoy each other’s company and truly connect talk to one another.

If a person is unresponsive, I usually think one of four things:

1. We just don’t connect conversationally and it’s time to move on.
2. The person is in the middle of a time consuming project and doesn’t have the space to build a new friendship. I should move on and leave them to focus on work.
3. The person is shy. Since words matter to me and it’s difficult for an introvert like me to have a conversation with a shy person, it’s best to avoid frustration and move on.
4. The person doesn’t like me and considers me boring. Move on.

If I’m unresponsive, I’m typically tired at that moment or the person didn’t say anything specific that requires more than a one-word answer. If the person’s first sentence to me is in shorthand, I most probably won’t progress the conversation. I don’t have extended conversations with people who use chat lingo or shorthand. It takes too much energy to decipher each sentence. Also, if you specialise in conversations that begin with, “Why didn’t you…”, “You didn’t…” or “Why are you…”, I definitely will ignore you. I don’t read accusations.

Social media is my job so I can only have a limited number of conversations and stay sane. After a while, seeing an incessant stream of “hi” or “hello” becomes distracting and I mute those chats. It’s the only way to focus.

None of my notifications are set to the on position so there’s nothing instant about messaging me. Close friends who need urgent attention know what to do.

PS: I don’t do random video and voice calls with strangers. I don’t know you. You are not invited into my space unannounced.

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Those who enjoy one other's company & truly connect, talk to each another. Click To Tweet


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